The Sibling's Story (Nora's Version)
With October being Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, the focus can be primarily on the moms and dads, which is very understandable and appropriate. What we've learned over these past two years is that being open with our feelings in age-appropriate ways can create the space for Nora and Max to process their mixed bag of emotions. So, as my sweet Nora turns 8 and a half TODAY (when do we stop counting half birthdays?), she wanted me to share her first essay that she wrote at the beginning of the school year.
The writing prompt was "Losing Something" and below is what her sweet little heart and mind wrote. We definitely weren't expecting her to write this for her prompt, but I'm grateful she feels open and safe enough to process and share it with us all. I so appreciate how her minds processes losing Sophie and the mixture of sadness and celebration in honoring her on her birthday:
"Have you ever lost someone special or something special to you? Because I will never forget the day I lost my sister because we go to the apple orchard, we make cards for her every year and she is a part of my family.
Let me tell you about going to the County Line Indiana Apple Orchard in Sophie's honor. Once, we went in two corn mazes and one was bigger than the other and one is smaller. At the apple orchard, we pick apples, different ones and my favorite was the gala apple. We also have apple donuts and pumpkin donuts and my favorite donut is pumpkin.
We also remember my sister because she is a special person in my family. Sophie my sister had brown hair and tan skin. Sophie my sister was only in my mom's tummy when she died and I know she would be an amazing and sweet sister. A ton of people including my parents and family are sad about Sophie's death and really, really miss her.
We also celebrate Sophie by making cards for her every year. My whole family: me, Max, Mom and Dad make cards for her. Making cards is actually a creative and really fun and happy thing to do! Making cards is a fun and sad tradition we have done for two years.
In conclusion, I will never forget when I lost my sister because we go to the apple orchard, she is a part of my family and we make cards for her every year. Have you ever lost someone or something?"
-Nora Isabelli, Age 8 (and a half!)